I got a message from a friend of mine a while ago. She is in a wonderful relationship with a man, they are planning on getting married, He just got baptized, and – she’s 2 weeks late. She’s hoping more than anything that it means she’s pregnant. There are some other things going on medically so being late isn’t necessarily the indicator it might normally be, and the nurse said it isn’t likely, but still, she’s hoping. And for her sake, I hoped she was right.
This morning she told me the nurse is right. She started her cycle; she’s not pregnant. And her heart is breaking.
There aren’t many times in my life I have wished I was pregnant but I wasn’t, but the heartache I felt during those months was intense. There was a definite hole in my heart! Eventually I have always ended up pregnant when I wanted to be – something for which I am very grateful. But I still remember the heartache.
So, my friend, I wrote this prayer for you.
Holy God, Creator of Life, I want so much to co-create with You, to share in the process of creation. But I’m not pregnant. Lord, please comfort me in my sadness. I have such a deep, lonely hole in my heart right now. I know that that hole can only be fully filled by You. Please Lord, as I hope and wait and yearn for the day when I am pregnant, please be with me now and fill that hole. Wrap me in your arms the way I want to wrap my baby in my arms. I love you, Lord. And I need You. Thank you Lord, Amen.