Does your family honor and recognize you on Mother’s Day?
Do you want them to make a big deal about you on Mother’s Day?
I confess that I waver on this one. Part of me wants to be honored and celebrated because being a mom is a lot of work! But part of me doesn’t want to make that big of a deal out of it. It’s my job, it’s what I do, it’s fine. (And, okay, part of me wants to take the day for ‘Mom time’ and leave everyone with Dad). The fact that the entire day seems to be the brainchild of either Hallmark or the local flower store probably doesn’t help either, but that’s not the point.
We have never been good at celebrating these little holidays, or even some of the bigger ones. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day definitely can get overlooked. It wasn’t that big of a deal.
Then for two years in a row my husband got called to work on Mother’s Day for various emergencies. They were truly emergencies, so I can’t hold it against him (it is now a running joke of what crisis might erupt on Mother’s Day), but it really deflated any illusion I had that I wouldn’t have to cook that day or that my husband and kids would at least say, “Mom, you’re great. Thanks for all you do.” I was sad that I didn’t get even that little token nod of appreciation.
Not wanting to turn this into a pity party, I set myself to thinking. While I know that it is easy for the work of moms everywhere to be overlooked and even ignored, my children have blessed me richly. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be a mom. I haven’t had very many months in my life when I wanted to be pregnant and wasn’t, but being a mom was something I wanted since middle school and it has made me a better person. I wanted to acknowledge that. I wanted to honor them.
Honoring me by honoring them
Last year we did go out to eat for Mother’s Day because I simply said that even if Daddy can’t come with us, I’m not cooking. I think we went to a Mexican place. But that afternoon while the kids were playing I gathered them all around and just said, “Hey. I know it’s Mother’s Day and all, but I want to do something different. Without all you 7 kids, I wouldn’t be a mom. And being a mom is a blessing. So I have a small present for you. I’m going to honor you on Mother’s Day, and on your birthday you should honor me. I was the one who did the hard work of birthing you after all, and your birthday means a lot to me.” And I gave them each a small bag of jelly belly jelly beans.
Now, I will just be upfront and say that the whole bit of them honoring me on their birthday never really materialized. I don’t know that I expected it to, although I did mention on one child’s birthday and she turned around and made me a card or something like that. But I think my goal has been accomplished. I think that in doing this I have made it clear to the kids that they are a blessing and that being a mom is a blessing. That is enough Mother’s Day celebration for me.